So, here I am again after a 6 month hiatus. I don't know about everyone else, but I have found that I come to Blogger when I am at a point in my life where I am confused, I need guidance, or my heart is hurting. When I originally started my blog, I was confused as to what I wanted from my relationship with my boyfriend. All that got ironed out eventually (I feel 100% better about it all and I couldn't say that if I didn't have my blog and all of my blogging friends). But now, I have come to another transitional point in my life: I have graduated college and have been thrown into the "real world".
But that isn't even my real problem, the problem is my weight. I haven't been to the gym in TWO MONTHS. I haven't gained that much (I don't have a scale but my clothes are still fitting) but I feel flabby and gross. I've been eating out more (we have recently moved about 8 hours away) and have been making excuses for not going to the gym. But I think the REAL thing that opened my eyes was a nightmare I had last night. In my nightmare I weighed 220 lbs. and had a FUPA (fat upper p*ssy area). I woke up under the impression that I was really that fat. But I wasn't, thank God.
I don't really have anything substantial to say today, but if you have a Twitter please let me know the link to it. I am still really confused about Twitter, but I opened one today and need to follow more people.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Saturday, February 12, 2011
2/12/2011
Yesterday's liquid fast was successful. After eating like a pig all week, I end the week lighter than before my week long piggie-fest. I might liquid fast again today but I'm not putting anything in stone. I just wanna be in the 120s again :(
As far as my boyfriend goes, I caught him in another lie. He said he only looked at it occasionally, but then the truth comes out that he's looking at it "2-3 times a week", which I'm sure is an underestimate.
Bekka said: "Why don't you like him looking at porn? Maybe if you explained to him why, instead of just accusing and getting mad, it would help him understand and possibly stop. I personally don't care if my bf looks, but I know if he and I ever have problems, we try to help each other get inside out heads, so we can understand each other better."
My boyfriend and I have been together for over 4 years now and he knows exactly why I don't like porn, we have been through this issue sooo many times. Honestly the porn issue takes a backseat to him lying to me, multiple times. We work through all issues and we get along very well, which is why I was so shocked that he would lie to me in such a way. And I wasn't accusing him- there was proof that he was looking at multiple sites, and he did eventually admit to looking at it, multiple times a week.
As far as my boyfriend goes, I caught him in another lie. He said he only looked at it occasionally, but then the truth comes out that he's looking at it "2-3 times a week", which I'm sure is an underestimate.
Bekka said: "Why don't you like him looking at porn? Maybe if you explained to him why, instead of just accusing and getting mad, it would help him understand and possibly stop. I personally don't care if my bf looks, but I know if he and I ever have problems, we try to help each other get inside out heads, so we can understand each other better."
My boyfriend and I have been together for over 4 years now and he knows exactly why I don't like porn, we have been through this issue sooo many times. Honestly the porn issue takes a backseat to him lying to me, multiple times. We work through all issues and we get along very well, which is why I was so shocked that he would lie to me in such a way. And I wasn't accusing him- there was proof that he was looking at multiple sites, and he did eventually admit to looking at it, multiple times a week.
Friday, February 11, 2011
fuming
am it the only person who doesn't like their boyfriend looking at porn?? right now i am fucking LIVID. i ask my boyfriend occasionally, "do you look at porn? i will be a little upset but i would much rather you tell me than lie to me". i've told him multiple times- whatever you do, just don't fucking lie to me. he swears "oh, i never look at porn! why would i look at porn when i have you?" and i knew he was lying, i can just tell. i mean he's a guy for God's sake. and of course i found out that he's... been looking at porn. and now, when he knows he's been caught in a lie, "oh i only do it occasionally when i'm really bored... i don't look at it every night or anything".
honestly, at this point i don't even give a shit about the porn. it's the fact that he has been LYING TO MY FACE for a long time... years. of course i knew deep down that he was lying, but i didn't want to make a big deal out of it and maybe, just a little, i believed him.
now i know i have my faults and i might be being a hypocrite here but i don't really care. i am so angry at this point i want to just break something. i'm so so so angry and hurt and upset and i feel betrayed.
if you think i'm crazy because i don't want my boyfriend looking at porn, then you're probably right. i don't really care though, i can't control how i feel and i can't control whether or not people lie to me but you're damn right i'm going to be beyond LIVID when i catch someone in a lie/swore to God/swore on everything.
Guys: don't lie to a woman. we can find out ANYTHING if we really want to.
honestly, at this point i don't even give a shit about the porn. it's the fact that he has been LYING TO MY FACE for a long time... years. of course i knew deep down that he was lying, but i didn't want to make a big deal out of it and maybe, just a little, i believed him.
now i know i have my faults and i might be being a hypocrite here but i don't really care. i am so angry at this point i want to just break something. i'm so so so angry and hurt and upset and i feel betrayed.
if you think i'm crazy because i don't want my boyfriend looking at porn, then you're probably right. i don't really care though, i can't control how i feel and i can't control whether or not people lie to me but you're damn right i'm going to be beyond LIVID when i catch someone in a lie/swore to God/swore on everything.
Guys: don't lie to a woman. we can find out ANYTHING if we really want to.
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