today was a decent day, although i am getting sick (it's possible i might be there already). i spent some time with one of my friends and we just chilled, talked, etc. i did smoke waaaay too many cigs and that mixed with being sick is giving me a huge headache. cigs are gross, i don't even know why i smoke them sometimes. i didn't get to go to the gym, BUT:
intake today:
1 cup of milk with carnation: 150 cals
emergen-c: 25 cals
nyquil
grand total: 175 (edited because i can't count)
see what happens when i don't smoke weed? i get things done. i do want a veggie chicken patty, buuuut i'm not hungry so i'll pass on that.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
today is a new day...
how many times have i said that before? but no seriously, today is a new day because i am out of weed and i am not going to buy any until i reach 120. and i know that is a bold statement, but i will still smoke with someone else if they offer. the problem isn't being around others and being high, it's when i go home by myself, get high & then just eat because i have nothing better to do.
i'm getting sick. WTF. i just took my multi-vitamin & day-quil and i'm going to try to find those stupid 100000% vitamin c packets or whatever they are and scarf one down. I CANNOT GET SICK. being sick is just another excuse not to exercise and i can't let that happen!
gym last night was decent. i did 2.5 mi. on the treadmill... again. one day i will up the ante. seemingly ana girl wasn't there, and i was able to lift because i got there right before they closed (night class on mondays). my goal is not really to be super thin, i want to be "toned" (i know everyone thinks that's not a real word) and be able to flex my muscles and win when wrestling guys (always leads to sex).
and i went to the dentist and i have two (small, he says) cavities. i hadn't been to the dentist in... at least 3 years. so two small cavities- can't really complain i guess. which is weird because i never had a cavity until i was like 15.
anyway, i love every single one of you, you are ALL beautiful whether or not you think so.
and DON'T SMOKE WEED OR YOU'LL BE FAT. unless you have massive amounts of will power
i'm getting sick. WTF. i just took my multi-vitamin & day-quil and i'm going to try to find those stupid 100000% vitamin c packets or whatever they are and scarf one down. I CANNOT GET SICK. being sick is just another excuse not to exercise and i can't let that happen!
gym last night was decent. i did 2.5 mi. on the treadmill... again. one day i will up the ante. seemingly ana girl wasn't there, and i was able to lift because i got there right before they closed (night class on mondays). my goal is not really to be super thin, i want to be "toned" (i know everyone thinks that's not a real word) and be able to flex my muscles and win when wrestling guys (always leads to sex).
and i went to the dentist and i have two (small, he says) cavities. i hadn't been to the dentist in... at least 3 years. so two small cavities- can't really complain i guess. which is weird because i never had a cavity until i was like 15.
anyway, i love every single one of you, you are ALL beautiful whether or not you think so.
and DON'T SMOKE WEED OR YOU'LL BE FAT. unless you have massive amounts of will power
Sunday, October 10, 2010
what is my problem
so... i hate to admit this, but i fell off the wagon this last week. i was doing great, going to the gym every night, keeping my intake low-ish, but then i bought weed.
BIG FUCKING MISTAKE.
i am seriously done with weed until i reach my goal. of course it's not the weed's fault, it's my fault for fucking being a fatass and not giving a shit while i'm high. there was a time when i could smoke and withhold my appetite, but that doesn't happen anymore so i have got to quit the weed.
i haven't been to the gym in 3 days, but after posting this i'm going. halloween is almost fucking here and i've gained 4 fucking pounds... AHHHHHHH- i feel terrible :(
edit- just got back from the gym, and even though i didn't do too much (2.5 miles on the treadmill (1.5 jogging) and half an hour of lifting) i feel GREAT! i can't believe that i flake out on the gym... getting up and going there is the actual hard part, afterwards you feel accomplished and great (even though it will take FOREVER for me to lose what i gained just by being a fat little greedy person, shoving my gullet with anything in my pantry... but i digress).
there's this girl who was in one of my women's studies class... she was super quiet, always had this tote that said to go vegan and stuff, and i always see her at the gym KILLING herself, she is getting smaller and smaller (i would say she's about 110 or so), and i feel that she has some type of ed. of course i could be wrong, but i don't think so. but hey, if she can not be lazy and have determination, more power to her!
BIG FUCKING MISTAKE.
i am seriously done with weed until i reach my goal. of course it's not the weed's fault, it's my fault for fucking being a fatass and not giving a shit while i'm high. there was a time when i could smoke and withhold my appetite, but that doesn't happen anymore so i have got to quit the weed.
i haven't been to the gym in 3 days, but after posting this i'm going. halloween is almost fucking here and i've gained 4 fucking pounds... AHHHHHHH- i feel terrible :(
edit- just got back from the gym, and even though i didn't do too much (2.5 miles on the treadmill (1.5 jogging) and half an hour of lifting) i feel GREAT! i can't believe that i flake out on the gym... getting up and going there is the actual hard part, afterwards you feel accomplished and great (even though it will take FOREVER for me to lose what i gained just by being a fat little greedy person, shoving my gullet with anything in my pantry... but i digress).
there's this girl who was in one of my women's studies class... she was super quiet, always had this tote that said to go vegan and stuff, and i always see her at the gym KILLING herself, she is getting smaller and smaller (i would say she's about 110 or so), and i feel that she has some type of ed. of course i could be wrong, but i don't think so. but hey, if she can not be lazy and have determination, more power to her!
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